Blag ni Kim

gay life in a straight and righteous world is very unlikely and scary. Scary in two senses– interpersonal and intrapersonal senses. scary.

sense#1: you and i are very aware of it, the social stigma people impose on us. enough of this sense.

sense#2: the frustration. one of my guy friends lives in an a unisexual apartment unit. and it turned out that one of his housemates has hidden desires for him. in short, my friend’s housemate is gay– a pepper type of gay. there came a time when he finally told my friend how he feels for him. the confrontation was very physical. scary. the second inscident ended with a blade of knife cutting my friend’s thumb. scary. my friend seem to have had developed a phobia sleeping and staying in his apartment. scary.

i pray to God that He would not take me to that level of frustration– Kutsilyo Level.

why is it that such sweet and delicious things on earth are forbidden by god?

undoubtedly, these things excite our unadulterated senses.

but since it is forbidden, we refuse to taste such objects and we repress our passions.

does god really love us?

why does he want us to be unhappy?

pakingshet! galit n agalit ako ngayon! there are 2 guys na medyo naka-close ko (well, we see each other often). and don’t get me wrong– hindi ako tanga para magkaroon ng romantic feelings sa dalawang basurang ito. well, we talk and laugh with each other. umaabot din sa point na they tell jokes about gay na kinakaya ko naman.

but how dare they? mas bakla pa sila sakin! tangina nila! i will quote katie fox for that:

"i hate metrosexuals. they gossip like a girl, but rationalizes like a guy."

- miss match

napaka-tsismoso! i’ve trusted them. tapos it seems like everything i tell them is subject to becoming general knowledge dahil pinagsasabi nila ‘yon. well, screw them. it doesn’t necessarily mean na madaldal akong ato e kailangan nang malaman ng lahat ang mga bagay-bagay sa buhay ko! tangina talaga! super pakshet!

ang mali ko e i’ve trusted them! shet!

pakshet in love ‘ata ako.

masayang malungkot.

masaya kasi lagi akong masaya.

malungkot kasi alam kong hindi niya masusuklian ang LOVE <i hate the word> na nararamadaman ko para sa kanya.

iiyak na lang siguro ako. huhuhu… :’(

strife, o strife

the never-ending struggle for power

o, i hate thee

but why did you come forth

power and greed by your side

i never wanted you to visit me

i’ve seen your victims

i’ve seen them change

i’ve seen them being corrupted

by your creeping virus

that starts from the head, to the mouth, to everything

it hurts everybody

i hate you

-Ikaw sa likod ng usok-

Wala na akong pera
Gutom ako sa nikotina
Nakita kita
Hindi pa humihingi
Binigay mo na
Natuwa naman ako
Yosi ang tulay

Umasa akong mauulit
Natuwa muli ako
Lagi mo akong binibigyan
Minsan lang ako makaramdam nang gan’to
Patuloy lang ‘yon

Ito ang punto
Ang saglit
Ang pagkakataong nag-blog na ako
    ang aking binyag
Umaasa akong makita at maamoy
Ang mga brown na tabako
Sa loob ng maputing papel at filter

Patuloy lang ‘yon
Alam kong balang araw
Matatapos ang lahat
Wala ka nang maibibigay na yosi

Kaya ngayon
Habang umuusok pa
Habang mainit pa
Susubukan kitang balatan
Dahan-dahan kong bubuksan nang parang regalo
Ang maputing papel na nakabalot sa’yo

Nanamnamin ko muna
Ang panahong ito
Kung saan mahaba-haba pa ang yosi
Kung kailan madali pang balatan at hawakan
Kung saan hindi pa nawawala ang usok at init
Kung saan hindi pa patapon ang yosi
Putangina! Napa-blog ako!